Is it "wifey wendesday" already?! As I have been sharing with some of you, I really feel like I have been in a bit of a slump lately. In fact last week I tried to post all day long on my assigned Wednesday and I just had nothing to share. Something I feel very convicted of is "shouting on the street corners" so to speak, I do not want to be not right with God and then preaching his word and passion all over because it's "my turn". The flip side of that is my relationship with God is not an emotion and weather I feel it or not I need to continue on. I just didn't feel like I was in a place to share this and that and pretend when in my heart I knew I was being selfish and being consumed by myself and by life's hardships.
It's so amazing how God uses his scripture and surrounds us with people who are experiencing similar trials. I have never read all of the Bible and after a great pep talk from my ladies I realized how sad that is! I started reading and decided this time I would not skip over the "leviticus, numbers, deuteronomy..." sections haha I always viewed those as a bit slow, of a totally different culture, and unable to offer much help to my life right now. Wow has God prooved me wrong about that! I have learned more about my God and myself and just how SERIOUS God is about our relationship with him from the first few chapters of the Bible! In fact it is so pertinent to my life right now that at times it becomes a bit uncomfortable reading it because it makes me realize I am reading about MYSELF!
I AM AN ISRAELITE! About every 2 chapters the Israelites complain and complain to Moses and God saying why did you bring us here? It would have been better for us to stay in Egypt and be a slave than to be here. Then God reminds them of his greatness and power. God does miracles, punishes the unbelievers, makes his presence and plan known, and the Israelites repent and recommit their lives to God. They follow the detailed instructions of offering a sacrifice according to their sins, promise to follow and trust God, pray and worship him...then about 1 1/2 chapters later they complain and sin before God. The cylce continues and continues...I get so frustrated with them and in my eyes the Israelites are weak and stupid but I am realizing, yes they are those things...but so are we (specifically me!)God is showing me through reading these chapters that first of all, complaining is a sin! Complaining is not trusting in God. If God truely loves us much as he says he does then doesn't he surely love us enough to take care of us and our life. Just as he did not bring the Israelites out into the dessert to just die, he will not bring us out to our different areas of life and just leave us. If we fully submit ourselves to him he will have a beautiful plan for us. He doesn't promise it will be easy and pain free, but it will be HIS plan and he will be there to help us along the painful and hard times.
Basically I just want to encourage each of you to take a look at your lives and find where we have the most hard time trusting in God, where do we complain about and try and fix on our own? Because that is EXACTLY what the Israelites did. Some complained (they were destroyed), some ignored God (They were destroyed), some said the dessert is fine with me I would rahter stay here then go on (they were destroyed), some went on into the promise land before God was ready (and they were destroyed). We are guilty of each of these things, ignoring, complaining, trying to not consult God but do it our own way. Each of these is so unsatisfying and ultimately sinful before our Lord God. God has been showing me these last few weeks I am acting like these Israelites. I have been praying for him to humble us before him, to do whatever it takes to break us (David and I) so our hearts can be fully prepared to worship and be before him. As soon as God started "humbling and breaking" us I started complaining. I started feeling bad and getting frustrated and asking God why or worse, just ignoring God and trying to figure it out and carry the burden on my own. Just what the "dumb" Israelites did! My prayers have been, "God I'm sorry I'm acting like the Israelites" I never would have prayed that or understood that if I had skipped the "slow" chapters of the Bible! They are not slow at all rather JUST what I needed to hear!
God I am sorry for not only my complaining but my CONTINUAL complaining. You take me back time and time again and yet just like the chapters in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers...I complain and doubt again. I recognize for the first time the seriousness of this and am heartbroken that I have been treating you this way. God thank you for your faithfulness, even when I am not.
Sorry if my post was all over the place this time (to be honest I feel like I'm a little all over the place right now!) but I hope I was able to explain a little of what God is showing and humbling me! Megan
Wowo, MEGS. i was sooo spoken to throughout your post. thank you for being honest. God told me some things while reading. you will be blessed!!!
ReplyDeleteMegs, I'm totally in your shoes. This was so powerful! I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am that you have given understanding and a
ReplyDeletespirit of truth while reading the first 5 chapters of the bible. They are SO powerful and Ash and I felt the exact same way while reading them the first time around. That's what is so cool about the Word
of God. It's active and living. It never is out of date, or too much to understand. It's all examples and stories of God running hard after his children. I love how honest you are. I have been there and am feelig te same way lately. We just need to be all lifting each other up in prayer always. Thank you for sharing. I love you. Keep
reading girl. God is totally teaching you!! Xoxo- N