Bride of Christ

I love weddings and everything wedding related. Actually LOVE is an understatement, Obsession might be a better description of the feeling that I feel toward weddings. I sometimes think that I missed my calling as a wedding planner. haha I could (and do) spend hours looking at wedding blogs. I love everything from flowers, to dresses, to venues. I have been fortunate to stand beside three of my best friends during their weddings and I am always the crazy bridesmaid with tears a-flowing. I even cry just reading wedding stories of complete strangers.

Okay, by now I think you get the point. I like weddings...

So, all of that brings me to why I am writing this… My brother and his girlfriend are going to be getting engaged soon and are planning to have a wedding in December (of THIS year!!!)Needless to say I am BURSTING at the seams. I am ready to get the planning started. I spent all day yesterday looking at this amazing website that I found. I viewed every single collection of every bridal designer that they had.

Oh, it was such a blissful way to waste my day. ha ha. Around five pm (no joke) I decided it was probably time to get out of my pj’s and get ready for church. I got to church and we had our service outside where they perform weddings. We spent the whole service in worship. And with eyes closed I kept seeing brides in wedding dresses in my head. Trying not to let my mind wonder I started praying.

Have you ever been worshipping on autopilot and all of a sudden realized the words that you are singing? Well that happened to me last night, we were in the middle of singing, “All my desire is in You LORD, all of my hope.” I instantly felt convicted. “LORD can I sing this honestly?” I asked myself? “Is ALL of my desire in You LORD?” Think about that for a minute. ALL my desire. If all of our desire is in GOD, than the desires for anything else in our lives will only be second to what is most important, desiring GOD. I have been struggling these past few months with feeling joyful.

“You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalms 16:11

And I realized if all of my desire was truly found in God, than I would be joyful. Instead I realized that I have placed all of my desire in a career, and not in GOD. I am hesitant to write this, I am not saying that pursuing a career, family, and hobby is wrong. I am just saying we have to check our hearts and make sure these things have not become idols in our lives. God should be our first love.

As I worshiped I tried to imagine myself as the bride of Christ walking toward Him. As I began to picture GOD standing before me, I could do nothing else but be on my knees before Him. We are not worthy enough to come to HIM. But through Christ He has made a way for us to come into the prescence of Him. I do not feel worthy to be called Christ’s bride. As I sat in the presence of God worshiping, I heard a small voice ask me, “Do you feel the same excitement about getting married, as you feel about Me?” Then with a humble heart I had to realize that my excitement to be with the LORD is not where it should be. I am so thankful that GOD is soo loving that He examines our hearts and our intentions and calls us into a deeper love with Him. I spent the rest of the evening entering into the most intimate, amazing worship that I think I have ever experienced.

My pastor’s son is going to be getting married and he told his son, “you are not planning for a wedding you are planning for a marriage.” I had to wonder, am I planning on getting into heaven and not planning on spending eternity with GOD. Just as so many times I view marriage as a wedding dress and party, I view heaven as the one day that I will see God and do not think much past that one day. In Francis Chan’s book, Crazy love, he says that we should try and spend a whole day thinking about heaven. If we will spend eternity with GOD, shouldn’t I be more focused on eternity than this life that is passing away?

xoxo

Ashby