Psalm 27:10

Every Monday I meet with a group of girls from school to discuss a heavy book we are reading for our class. This week we ended up talking about Psalm 27:10. It's amazing where discussions lead a group of girls, so many different topics!! Back to the verse:

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me."

"WHEN my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up."

I really had to read this verse over and over. The first thought that came to my head is this verse magnifies God's love towards us, which passes even the most tender love of parents for their own children. The second thought I had was wow.... WHEN my father and mother forsake, renounce, turn away from me entirely, God will be there. Not a matter of if, or maybe sorry if this happens to you, but WHEN because it is going to. During our discussion it really made me think of how many people are put into my life to add additional support other than my parents when my parents can't be there for me. I started to look at each individual friend, family member, teacher, peer, and the Lord to see what they have done for me when I didn't even realize it. What comes to mind when you read this verse?

Psalm 27: 4-6 (by Kathleen)

"The one thing I ask of the Lord- the one thing I seek most- is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord's perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. Then I will hold my head up high, above my enemies who surround me. At his Tabernacle I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music."

Good morning, ladies. I apologize for not posting regularly. Megan, you will learn soon enough the difficulties in trying to type while managing a little one. My "leisure" time on the computer is about 30-seconds long. That is why my emails are 2-3 sentences- at most! Otherwise, intermittently you would read "aghehejaldldldddd" courtesy of my curious toddler.

I want to piggyback off of Megan's email. This past weekend I went camping with Bennett and while driving to a trail head in Idllywild I pointed out the what-seemed-like-the-never-ending granite slabs straining upwards toward heaven. The are majestic formation of rock interlaced with conifers and dense shrubbery. The radiant emerald of the pine needles woven through the grainy white, jade and silver stone was breath taking. I made notice of the scenery to Bennett by saying," Look at the beautiful mountains, Bennett. God created the mountains. He pulled the stone and dirt from the earth and placed it perfectly to create that lovely mountain. He created it, Bennett, for you to marvel at. He created the mountains, trees, rocks and birds so that we would look at creation and worship Him. God created everything for you, son." After those final words were uttered from my mouth, I paused. Rarely do I walk through the day praising God for his majesty, his power or for the ability to speak the earth into motion. Yet when I simplified the explanation of creation down for my kid, I got it. I realized how often I bypass the glory of God. So let us live as women who "[delight] in the Lord's perfections and [meditate] in his Temple" everyday over the mighty and the minute. Praise God for everything from the massive formations of rock and granite sprinkled all over the earth. Praise God for the sun-kissed wildflowers lining the roads we drive upon. Simply put, praise God.

He Provides.

(okay i copied and pasted my post after i wrote it on word and then just realized i forgot the 1st paragraph... so here is the whole thing.)

A couple of weeks ago, my life group from Rock Harbor decided that we were actually going to serve our community. Nicole's post made me realize how few times I think about doing this. Often I feel like I am doing my "Christian" part by going to church, reading my bible in the mornings and going to life group once a week. Yes that is great, but it is not even close to what I could be doing. There truly is a lot of opportunity to serve here in Orange County and if I didn't know where to go, Rock Harbor has so many places to offer because they are so big on serving the cities around here. Anyways, this particular experience was thought up by a few people in my Life Group and it turned out to be really neat.

As you all know, Costa Mesa has its share of diversified people. I mean, we've got the mansions overlooking Newport Harbor, the houses and apartments near Vanguard, and then there's 19th Street. Go down about two lights passed 24 Hour Fitness, and you feel like you're in a different area. Everything is in Spanish, there's a lot of rundown areas and technically you know not to go down that area by yourself if you're looking for Mexican food at 11pm. But this provides a wonderful opportunity to serve because there are a lot of people and families there that need the help.

We decided to stake out a laundromat that was willing to work with us and allow us to pay for everyone's laundry for a night. We would all chip in $20 or something, and if fifteen of us showed up, then we would have more than enough to pay for detergent, washes and drying for people. The guy in charge of putting this together held the first "Laundry Love," (which is the actual name for the project.. which other people do too, I learned) had it on the night of the last Lakers game, so needless to say, no one but him and his roommates showed up (even I didn't go). It was terrible because he was pretty disappointed with the turnout, and I think we all felt bad that we didn't go. So he planned another one, which was a couple of weeks ago. I thought it was going to be a small laundromat and just a few people were going to be there, and the rest just think we are weird and not want the help. I was wrong! This laundromat is particularly large, and there were a ton of people inside. Before the event, the guy from my life group had taken a list down of names of people that wanted to be added to the free laundry list by going around and advertising at the soup kitchen on 19th or just around the stores there. The list was PACKED. We were expected to have a full turnout. I wish I would have brought more money because we actually ended up using all of it and there were a few more loads that could have been done.

While we were waiting for the machines to wash and dry, we were supposed to walk around and talk with the people there. Not necessarily witness to them and talk about God, but just talk to them. Find out their story. See if there is anything they need or want prayer. This made me just a tad nervous because how do you go up to someone and just start carrying on a conversation passed "Hi," and "How are you today?" Well there was one woman there that a guy from my life group introduced me to and so I started talking to her. Her name was Dorothy, she was a white, overweight woman dressed in old clothes, but with a huge smile on her face. She was extremely friendly and within a few minutes I found out she was a lunch lady at an elementary school down the street, had left an abusive marriage about a year ago, had a 17 year old son she never saw and loved the Lord. I asked her where she lived, and said, "Right around here." I later found out this meant she lived in her car. It broke my heart, because this woman, who was so loving and spirited, didn't even have a bed to sleep in. She said she never begs and has yet to actually go hungry for more than a day. Because school is out for the summer, she is out of a job and said she has been looking into other jobs and desperately needs to start working in order to pay for things. She said she only made about $1,000 a month during the school year, and that was barely enough to pay for food, fixing her car, and all of the bills she racked up from going to court (her car had been in her husband's name, and she mentioned it took almost a year to fight him for it and have it legally hers). I imagined my life for a second how she lives hers. There is NO way I could do it. I thought of all the crap I own and the warm, safe house I live in. She basically has nothing, and yet, loved God and loved life. Here I am, complaining every day about the most useless things and Dorothy tells me of a story how a stranger at a gas station bought her car oil without her even asking, and proceeded to say that it was divine meeting. This is what she treasured- the moments that God had provided for her and didn't dwell on the fact that in comparison to most people, she had no material items. That sure shows me how we live with so much excess in our life. It is overflowing, and yet.. we need more, or at least we think we do!

She said she used to go to Rock Harbor and loved it, but didn't have the money to pay for gas to drive over there every week. Kimi and I right away offered to start taking her if she wanted, and she was blown away. Seriously girls, this woman was such an inspiration to me. At the end of the night, we offered to pray for her and she gladly accepted. We prayed for her to find a job, for her back to hold out for when the school year starts again, and that she would be able to save up the money to finally move out of her car and into a real apartment. She genuinely smiled after and was so thankful. Sadly, she didn't have a phone so I can't call her to pick her up for church, but she took Kimi's cell phone number and said she would call. She hasn't yet, and I'm afraid it's because she doesn't want to "put us out" by picking her up, which she stated. I really hope she doesn't truly feel like that because it would be a huge blessing to be able to do that for her.

Afterwards, she then thanked us for not judging her. At that moment, I felt convicted. It wasn't that I had judged her, but I felt like I should be the one she should be judging. I have a job, a house, a car, clothes and food, and yet am not praising God and talking of His blessings like I should be. This experience really showed me that through every step in life, no matter who or where you're at, God PROVIDES. He gives us exactly what we need. I need to stop worrying about not hearing an answer or not having something I want. He is listening and gives us everything that we really need. He is with us through it all, and even though Dorothy didn't have much, she never talked about needing anything material. She just wanted the basics to get through life. What a challenge to actually live like that. I commend Dorothy for her genuine love for the Lord and her upbeat spirit despite her tough past.

Let us think like Dorothy and be appreciative for the small but only real necessities in our life- our loving families, shelter and food. It is so often I forget that people in my own city are struggling to have these on a daily basis and continually need the help and prayer from people like me that are able to do so. Thank you God for humbling me and giving me a new, wonderful woman to be praying for.

Worship is a Verb

I have been in a little bit of a dry season these past couple weeks. Not over anything in particular but just because I havent been choosing to spend time with the Lord like I should. I desire for my cup to be overflowing but have been convicted in my quite time that the Lord cant overflow my cup if I dont hand my cup over for Him to fill. In order for the Lord to bless you you have to give Him the opportunity to reveal himself. I have been lacking in that lately. Pray for me. :)

So sometimes, when I am feeling like I am in the same old rut I try to mix it up. I pulled out the book Ashley and I have been doing together and God just rocked me. The whole book is about worship but this chapter in particular was guiding you into realizing how to be a true worshiper.

Louie Giglio breaks down the most amazing definition of what worship is. "Worship is our response, both personal and corporate, to God, for who He is and what He has done, expressed in and by the things we say and the way we live."

Ok let me break that down. Worship is a WHOLE-LIFE RESPONSE to God's greatness and glory. Because of God's greatness and perfection we respond by worshiping Him. Or at least we should. I know in my life I think in my head all day long how good God is or when I hear of the things He has done I think Wow God is so awesome. But thats not worship. Worship is something enter into with all your might. I need to truly worship Him for the things He is doing. Because He deserves a response from me. BIG TIME!

Can you imagine if you did things for your friends, husband, parents, etc and never got a response. They just thought in their head, "Oh that is cool" or "Wow that was nice" but never said or did anything. That is basically what we do to God when we dont respond by worshiping Him for all the great things He does.

Worship is a verb. Its a doing word. We need to learn to worship like the Psalmists. Its one of the longest books in the bible basically dealing just with worship. They say: Sing to the Lord. Shout to God. Dance before the Lord. Play the harp. Come before Him with joyful songs. Clap your hands. Bow before His throne. Lift up your hands. Tell of His goodness. Still your heart. Cast down your idols. Run to him. Seek His face. Tell the nations.

Because God knows our hearts and realizes how He has made us, He knows that we need many outlets of worship. There isnt just ONE way we can worship. There are MILLIONS! Just respond. Just give God the time of day. There are so many ways in which I am sure we all worship differently, but the key is to take the time to do it. Even if it is just being still before Him and giving yourself to Him. That is worship. You know I dont always feel like I can to come to the throne with anything of worth, but giving myself is worship.

The book says, " When God is not greatly praised, it's only because we dont think that He is that great of a God. When our worship is small, it's because our concept of God is small. When we offer little -bitty sacrifices it is because we have somehow reduced Him in our hearts to a little-bitty God. Our vision has become clouded, our hearts distracted."

SO true. And when our hearts and minds start feeling like God is small then our worries get big and we get depressed or scared or anxious. But its all lies. We serve a God that is still running the show that is holding the universe in His hands, and running after our hearts, inviting us to call Him friend and Lover. He is SO big and SO good and deserves us to get up and worship Him.

Last week I was at Jazzercise and I witnessed the best thing EVER! There is a little, sweet Christian lady that stands in the back that only has one arm. I dont know if she was born that way but it does not inhibit her from ANYTHING. She dances bigger, runs harder, grows stronger with the Lord through this. I know this through one conversation with her. We when we were in class the other day, we were going along and I hear a tambourine. And guess who it was? The lady in the back. (I dont remember her name) She would pull out that tambourine when a good part of the song came and shake it with her one arm as good as she could! And then when it got too much put it in her shirt and then wait til the end of the song to get it out again and do a great big ending!! (Megs this would SO be you!) It was too funny. I was dying laughing but I thought about it and I know that she is a believer from our one short conversation and she just is filled with the joy of the Lord. She doesnt care what people say or think. She is going to play that tambourine even in Jazzercise. I LOVE THAT! I wanna be like her.

Worship is a response to God in our lives. But it starts with His love and greatness. He reveals; we respond. He calls; we answer. He loves; we love in return. He leads; we follow. We dont initiate worship He does, and we need to do our part.

I encourage you girls to make a list of the ways in which you do worship and could worship and try those things when you feel like you need to switch it up or you are feeling a little dry or lost. There are so many ways. Even if it is just to SPEAK His name. Its all worship!

I have the reference to Psalm 100 printed on the bottom of our bags for the boutique. It goes in line so well of how we should be worshiping.

"Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations."


Love you girls so much! May we worship with ALL our might today!
xoxo- N

I no longer call you servants... instead, I have called you friends

I'm pretty sure most of you know who Shane Claiborne is, but I found his book on my shelf "Irresistible Revolution" (On sale at amazon for $4 if you don't already have it) last week as I was making room for my new books this semester. This book changed my life the first time I read it. I wish I could quote his entire book into our blog for people to read, but I wanted to focus on just one part that has been on my heart:

Page 128-129

"Servanthood is a fine place to begin, but gradually we move toward mutual love, genuine relationships. Someday, perhaps we can even say those words that Ruth said to Naomi after years of partnership: "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried" (Ruth1:16-17)

And that's when things get messy. When people begin moving beyond charity and toward justice and solidarity with the poor and oppressed, as Jesus did, they get in trouble. Once we are actually friends with folks in struggle, we start to ask why people are poor, which is never as popular as giving to charity. People do not get crucified for charity. People are crucified for living out a love that disrupts the social order, that calls forth a new world. People are not crucified for helping poor people. People are crucifed for joining them. "

We are blessed with the most amazing party givers, and get together to celebrate one another with no hesitation. Can it be possible for us to get together and help a cause? For one day, a week, whatever it might be. Let us serve together. I have been looking for different organizations whether it is feeding the homeless, organizing a group to give toys, and if anyone else would like to join me I will continue to look for something as a group. PLLLEAASSEEE list your ideas or give organizations you are familiar with. Love you all!

Rachel's baby!!!

OK so now that she has officially gone public with her news, I wanted to share with my amazing Ladies that my best friend Rachey is officially 12 weeks pregnant with her 2nd child!!!!! God is so good! We will never forget or stop hurting and missing precious Daniel Grant but we are so thankful to our Lord and Savior for bringing them another precious child! I know each one of you has been praying daily over Rachel and Eric since the news of their little Daniel and I know she would just LOVE daily prayer over the health and safety of this new baby. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and cares during this whole time. Rachey if you are reading this (she sometimes follows our blog!) CONGRATULATIONS MAMMA!!! You are already a wonderful mother and have taken such great care of your 2 babies! We are covering you in prayer sweet friend! We are rejoicing with you! Let the prayers and thanksgiving begin! Love Megs

ps she just had her 12 week appointment and heartbeat is strong and healthy! Dr said baby was kicking whole time!! Music to our ears! :)

the Power of Prayer

Often I am overwhelmed with the idea of prayer. I mean, you are talking to God.. and He is listening to everything you say. If you really think about it you realize just how incredible that is. No prayer request goes unanswered and no cry for help is unheard. A lot of the times when I'm praying, I take a moment and just marvel at how amazing it is that He is hearing every thought and word that comes out of my mouth. It sounds so obvious, but it still amazes me how God hears us!

I was reading about King Hezekiah yesterday and how he lived his life faithful to the Lord. He destroyed all of the shrines and idols and turned to God for help in everything he did. That stuck out to me because shouldn't that be the way we live our lives too? Our first reaction to a problem or situation should be prayer. Prayer for guidance, peace of mind, relaxation; whatever the case may be. In my bible it said this, which I love: "Our problems are God's opportunities."

With faith and in accordance to God's will, our prayers can change any situation. Just thought I'd share that encouragement this morning, when I feel like I have a 3 page list long of prayer requests and questions I have for Him!

Love, xtina cupcake

Ignoring God...

Hi Ladies, I just finished reading Joshua and started Judges in the Bible (what can I say, I'm a bit of a slow reader!) If there is one thing I have learned from Genesis up to this point, it's just how serious God is about our relationship with him. Yes he is a God of grace and forgiveness, but I am feeling SO convicted of trying to take advantage of that. In reading these books I'm seeing just how jealous our God is (and rightfully so!) He wants ALL of us, ALL the time! He is so faithful to us and he wants our faith in return. It is so clear in these early books, that yes God forgives us when we mess up and gives us another chance, but not without punishment and consequences. We cannot ignore our God, place idols before him, choose to be of this world and not of him, and just expect him to sit by ready to take us with open arms whenever we feel like it. He will always be there, but there will most likely be consequences in our life for those above actions. Because we do not have Angels of the Lord appearing before us it may be harder to recognize what those consequences are, but I am confident they are there. We serve the same God as Abraham and Isaac, he is still a jealous God.



Judges 3:7-9 says,
"The Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD; they forgot the LORD their God and served the Baals and the Asherahs. The anger of the LORD burned against Israel so that he sold them into the hands of Cushan-Rishathaim king of Aram Naharaim, to whom the Israelites were subject for eight years. But when they cried out to the LORD, he raised up for them a deliverer, Othniel so of Kenaz, Caleb's younger brother, who saved them."



These verses were heartbreaking to me, I have never felt so convicted. "the Israelites did evil in the eyes of the LORD, they forgot the LORD their God..."

How many times do I forget the LORD my God? How many times to I serve my idols in my life over him. How many times do I call him in times of need then forget about him as soon as things are smooth again? I feel horrible that I ignore God, I know I should be praying, reading, or just sitting in quiet listening to him and instead I choose to zone out on my computer or clean the house or do so many other things. I cannot get that line out of my head, "they did evil things in the eyes of the LORD, they forgot the LORD their God." Forgetting God is evil in his eyes...YIKES! I knew it was "frowned upon" but evil is scary! I do not want to be evil before my God, I want to have confidence before Him and be Holy and pleasing!



Let's choose TODAY to not ignore the LORD our God. Let's listen to Him, pray to him, take a good chunk of our day spending time with Him. Whatever it is you feel God putting on your heart, lets NOT ignore it today. One day at a time and no better time to start than today!



I am praying over each of our hearts, my prayer has been for God to expose the areas of our hearts that we need to completely surrender to Him...WOW did he expose my areas FAST! I have so much to work on but it is such an exciting conviction, I don't feel bad when convicted because now I am seeing there are answers! God exposes our sins then gives us answers and a way in his Word to purify our sins and hearts! It's so exciting to find another area and give it up to God! Ignoring God is a BIG area in my life, this is going to take alot of dedication to change my patterns! Praying over each one of you Ladies, Love Megs

On My Knees

The other day I was helping Anthony clean up his place for our friends to come over and have dinner. I was in the bathroom and was sooooo shocked (Yes old roomies, you know it's true) to see my dark, thick, long hair all over the bathroom floor. Gross. So I got on my knees and decided to spend some clearning time in the bathroom. 20 towels later, I then noticed a hair band I lost the other day, and some pins. Which led me to the other room and I found a bracelet. It's amazing what you find. On your knees it's amazing the things you didn't see before.

I was thinking spending some quiet time either cleaing, reading, running, sitting, whatever it is, allows God to reveal certain things to us. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."
Psalm 139:23,24. Kinda cheesy, but when we see dirt, reveal it to God.

PS I just noticed that all my little comments i've posted in the past two weeks never saved.ugh. Computers, I don't like you.

Love you all
Nica.

Seeking GOD

Hi ladies, I'm doing a devotional w/a new friend (Yay I have a friend!!! haha) called Discerning the Voice of God by Pricilla Shirer/ It is amazing, my first week in It looked like it was just fill in the blank and I was totally bummed b/c I HATE those type devotionals but it's not! We watch this amazing black woman preacher give an awesome sermon then on our own we do the book study each day. Anyways if any of you guys are looking for a good study out there, I have really been learning alot! I have been craving wisdom from the Lord and discernment, I just want to know what God wants for me to do! This book has been very helpful and such a tool in taking me back to scripture and showing me how to discern God's voice from my own desires or conscience. It's teaching me all about the power of the Holy Spirit, so amazing!


Anyways, I'm done with my rant! haha In reading along this morning something really stuck out to me, she said, "No longer do I frantically search for God's will; I frantically search for God. "....there was a lot more but this one line stood out to me. I think I have always felt it is MY job to get wisdom, and my job to discern God, and my job to find God's will and I'm realizing I am not giving God enough credit with that thought process. Yes it is my job to act on those things when God gives them to us, but all those things come from God. If I frantically seek a deep, intimate, true, relationship with God and am devoted to meditating and learning his Word, naturally He will show me his will, give me wisdom, and his discernment.



Psalm 46:10 says "Cease striving and know that I am God"

This verse is so beautiful. Know that I am God. Acknowledge that, believe that, and act that out...He will meet us where we are at. He knows our hearts, our desires, our actions. All he ask of us it to KNOW that He is God. Love this!



Romans 8:5 Those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.

this verse I am trying to keep close to my heart all day long. I pray everyday for God to mold my heart to the woman he wants me to be. This verse says if I am controlled by the Holy Spirit then I will naturally think and act in a please way to the Spirit. There is no hidden secret just surrender our hearts up to God and our actions will naturally follow!



I'm a little all over the place today in this post but I am just so excited about what God is showing me and placing on my heart. I have been craving wisdom...but not craving God. Seems SO obvious now, why did I not realize this years ago! I pray this post is clear enough for you guys to follow and want you each to know I have been praying over EVERY single one of your hearts (even our new blog followers! :) I am praying for God to reveal our true hearts to ourselves (we are often the LAST ones to see the truth in ourselves!) Praying for God to reveal himself to each of us, praying for us to seek him in everything throughout our days. Remember to be in constant prayer ladies, how better a way to get close to our Father than through praying, listening, meditating on HIM!!!



Love you all so much, God is so good

Love Megs

Congrats, Mama-to-be!

"For you formed me in my inner parts; you covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well." -Psalm 139: 13-14

Everything is Bigger in Texas

Growing up in San Diego I haven't experienced a whole lot of huge storms. It was always exciting when it rained and I still now run to the window when I hear the rain. The other night while in Lubbock, Texas I experienced my first summer rain storm. It was so incredible. It rained hard, hot rain like I had never felt before.  And the thunder rolled and crashed so loud you never questioned what it was. Then there was the lightning. It was so bright you could see it with the windows shades closed in the house. And when we drove in the storm you could see the lightning strike in all it's glory, coming down with such power in beautiful lines  with such grace. The whole time I sat in awe thinking of our God who was purposefully orchestrating the whole show. I would have loved to sit out on a big wide front porch on a swing and watched the whole thing in it's entirety. 

I couldn't help but picture in my head Psalms about God commanding the storms with thunder and lightning. I had such a precious time with God that night just really digging in the Word reading through 1Samuel and letting the Lord remind me of His faithfulness and love for us. I decided instead of splitting my time half in the word an half in my devotional that I would just read my bible because I was so excited about what I was reading. 

The next morning I woke up and read my devotional that I was supposed the read the night before. The first thing I read was:

Psalm 97:1-4
The Lord reigns, let the earth be glad; 
Let the distant shores rejoice
Clouds and thick darkness surround Him; 
Righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne
Fire goes before Him
And consumes his foes on every side.
His lightning lights up the world; 
The earth sees and trembles. 

Of course. Of course it was a Psalm about His glory in creation and lightning. I proceeded to read with a big smile on my face just that He alone provided a Psalm so perfect and then the whole devotional following was a story about a Texas summer thunder and lightning storm. Really? I mean really?!! Why and how was that even in my book at all? God is soo perfect! 

All that to say God loves us SO much. I think that storm was just for me to remind me of His greatness and to teach me that He thinks of every detail all the time. I just think it's amazing that He continually meets us right where we are. Even if we are in Texas. It's right where we are supposed to be. 

Love you girls just wanted to share because I thought that was so cool! 

Xoxo- Natalie

Bride of Christ

I love weddings and everything wedding related. Actually LOVE is an understatement, Obsession might be a better description of the feeling that I feel toward weddings. I sometimes think that I missed my calling as a wedding planner. haha I could (and do) spend hours looking at wedding blogs. I love everything from flowers, to dresses, to venues. I have been fortunate to stand beside three of my best friends during their weddings and I am always the crazy bridesmaid with tears a-flowing. I even cry just reading wedding stories of complete strangers.

Okay, by now I think you get the point. I like weddings...

So, all of that brings me to why I am writing this… My brother and his girlfriend are going to be getting engaged soon and are planning to have a wedding in December (of THIS year!!!)Needless to say I am BURSTING at the seams. I am ready to get the planning started. I spent all day yesterday looking at this amazing website that I found. I viewed every single collection of every bridal designer that they had.

Oh, it was such a blissful way to waste my day. ha ha. Around five pm (no joke) I decided it was probably time to get out of my pj’s and get ready for church. I got to church and we had our service outside where they perform weddings. We spent the whole service in worship. And with eyes closed I kept seeing brides in wedding dresses in my head. Trying not to let my mind wonder I started praying.

Have you ever been worshipping on autopilot and all of a sudden realized the words that you are singing? Well that happened to me last night, we were in the middle of singing, “All my desire is in You LORD, all of my hope.” I instantly felt convicted. “LORD can I sing this honestly?” I asked myself? “Is ALL of my desire in You LORD?” Think about that for a minute. ALL my desire. If all of our desire is in GOD, than the desires for anything else in our lives will only be second to what is most important, desiring GOD. I have been struggling these past few months with feeling joyful.

“You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalms 16:11

And I realized if all of my desire was truly found in God, than I would be joyful. Instead I realized that I have placed all of my desire in a career, and not in GOD. I am hesitant to write this, I am not saying that pursuing a career, family, and hobby is wrong. I am just saying we have to check our hearts and make sure these things have not become idols in our lives. God should be our first love.

As I worshiped I tried to imagine myself as the bride of Christ walking toward Him. As I began to picture GOD standing before me, I could do nothing else but be on my knees before Him. We are not worthy enough to come to HIM. But through Christ He has made a way for us to come into the prescence of Him. I do not feel worthy to be called Christ’s bride. As I sat in the presence of God worshiping, I heard a small voice ask me, “Do you feel the same excitement about getting married, as you feel about Me?” Then with a humble heart I had to realize that my excitement to be with the LORD is not where it should be. I am so thankful that GOD is soo loving that He examines our hearts and our intentions and calls us into a deeper love with Him. I spent the rest of the evening entering into the most intimate, amazing worship that I think I have ever experienced.

My pastor’s son is going to be getting married and he told his son, “you are not planning for a wedding you are planning for a marriage.” I had to wonder, am I planning on getting into heaven and not planning on spending eternity with GOD. Just as so many times I view marriage as a wedding dress and party, I view heaven as the one day that I will see God and do not think much past that one day. In Francis Chan’s book, Crazy love, he says that we should try and spend a whole day thinking about heaven. If we will spend eternity with GOD, shouldn’t I be more focused on eternity than this life that is passing away?

xoxo

Ashby

Daily Desperation

When there's recurring feelings or thoughts going on in your head, you start to get the sense that God is trying to tell you something. As you all know, I am a pretty fearful/anxious person. You know, haha.. so I won't get into that. There are times when I start feeling overwhelmed and completely shut my mind off and just pray. I know this helps, absolutely every time it does. He rescues me from my fears. And then when He does, I'm better, and go on throughout my day later forgetting that I still need God's help. Anxiety returns, and again I start praying. I started to realize this pattern, and while this isn't bad that I turn to God in my desperation, I am not constantly desperate for Him. I am not constantly relying on my faith.

In 2 Kings 6, when the king of Aram (bad) sends a great army with many chariots and horses to surround the city of Israel to attack, Elisha's servant freaks out and asks Elisha what they are going to do. Elisha the prophet responds, "Don't be afraid! For there are more on our side than on theirs!" Elisha then prays to the Lord that He may open the servant's eyes and let him see. Technically, their army wasn't as big or as strong. But Elisha's faith proved that with God, they could destroy any enemy.

Faith reveals that God is doing more for his people than we can ever realize through sight alone. When problems seem insurmountable (like how you were going to pay rent, Megs) remember that spiritual resources ARE THERE even if you can't see them. Look through the eyes of faith and let God show you His resources.

After reading this, I constantly have been telling myself this week, "Even though I don't necessarily feel God's power right this moment, it's there. I have Him fighting for me each and every day."

Awhile ago I remember I think Ashley asking for us to post our notes from the lessons at the retreat so I thought I'd do that now! Let me know if you can't read it and want a bigger file :)

YEARN NOTES- Faith

Great is thy faithfulness

In keeping with the "faith" posts I have a story to share with you ladies. I went back and forth on whether or not to share this but Nat and Ashley encouraged me to be bold and go ahead and share! Please know my reason for posting this is to boast in God's amazing faith, everything about this is totally God ordained! OK before we get started....it's impossible to tell this story without going off on sidenotes because God literally had his hand in so many different areas that to fully grasp it you have to hear all the different details. So if you are up for a bit of a long post, read on. (It's a quick read, I promise!)

Wow, where to begin...I guess first off the story starts with David and I being SO tight on finances at the moment that we didn't know how we were going to come up with July's rent. We knew this would be a tight month b/c my boss has been out of town for most of it and therefore I wasn't working as many hours God had given us a peace that somehow he would provide like he always has but as the rent date grew closer and closer, we were jusst too short each passing day. We cut out ALL groceries, tried to limit gas, cut out all outings and still the extra cash just wans't there. Amazingly we still had a peace though (it was so clearly not from me because I'm such a planner and I cannot stand when things are not planned correctly. )

So about 3 weeks ago our church wrote us a check for $200 becuase they just felt led to do so (amazing I know!) We were blown away and beyond excited. That same day our sweet Natalie posted about tithing. Specifically from the passage Malachi 3:6-18. You may remember that post, it was about Robbing God. That post stuck out to me like no other post has before. I read it to David and he was touched by it to. We read it just before going on a walk with the pup and the whole walk this post was knawing at me! specifically the part that said:

8 "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. "But you ask, 'How do we rob you?' "In tithes and offerings. 9 You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

Our whole walk I kept hearing God's voice saying "test me Megan" this money the church had given us was clearly not ours, as much as I wanted to keep that money and make rent that month, the money just didn't feel like mine. It's like when you are walking behind someone and you see them drop a $100 bill. You just wouldn't keep that money because you jsut KNOW it is not yours. You would run up to them and give it back. That is exactly how I felt. The whole walk I was praying to God saying "OK God, if you want us to give this money back then YOU have to give David a peace about it and soften his heart. Because I KNOW He will look at me like I am crazy if I suggest this to him. Give up our only chance at making rent??? WHAT??!" I so badly wanted to ask him on while still on our walk if we could give it back but I felt God saying "just wait, I will make the perfect time..." I kept asking God all night "is this the time? I don't want him to get too attached to the money if we are giving it back haha" Finally that night I felt a peace about broaching the subject with David. I barely uttered the words, "what do you think about tithing the money back...I didn't even finish my sentence and David said "YES. I think we should" I doubted him and said "are you sure" Not real smart of me but I was just shocked that I didn't have to convince him! (Like I said, this is all CLEARLY from God, because we would not have these feelings/reactions on our own!).

Here's the part where I feel akward sharing but Nat really encouraged me to! ahhhh! (God we give you the praise and the glory!) with that being said, on Sunday, David wrote a check back to the church, the $200 they gave us then another $200. I was not able to be at church that day (we were at Nat's bday party!) and he called me and said, "sooooo God just wrote a check for another $200. I DID NOT want to write it but my hand just kept moving and I wrote $400 instead of $200" (sidenote...initial reaction....ok wow, we are now $400 behind instead of just $200 behind on rent...second reaction... Thank you Lord for speaking to my husband! Thank you for working in his heart and for his obediance! What we have is not ours and you will provide!) The pastor saw a check from us and called David aside and teasing him said "if the church gives you money you don't give it back! That money is from God!" hahaha David explained to him why we did and that we never felt like it was ours in the first place. He told him about the Verse that just spoke to us and asked the pastor to pray over our finances and for us to make wise decissions with our money. The 2 of them prayed right there and David called me SO excited and filled with peace!

Soooo...put that side of the story on the burner for a second....The following weekend AshBear came to spend the night with me. In one of our amazing talks Ashley said, "OK, I was reading in 1Kings:17 and I wrote up a whole post for it but I didn't post it because I felt like God saying to me, this post is for Megan." She felt unsure if she should share it with me or if it meant anything but since we were deap in conversationg she shared it (Thank you SO much for Obeying God's tugging on your heart Ash!) The story is a women who is barren and is helping out the prophet Elijah. He asks her what she wants in return for her help and she says nothing, he tells her by this time next year you will have a son. Sure enough God grants her a son who later becomes ill and dies. She is so upset with Elijah and says why did you bring this on me? I didn't ask for anything, why did you give me a son just for him to die? Elija goes and prays over the boy and pleads with God to save him and God does. Elija brought the boy down to the mother-alive- and the first thing the grieving mother did was fall down and give praise to God, then she went to her son. Now like I said...lots of litte bunny trails....but I really thought Ashley was sharing this story with me because I am having fertilitiy issues from my Lupus. I have been SO sad and discouraged at some recent news in that department and I really truely felt God was putting this on Ashley's heart to give me a peace about one day having a child. I was extatic and so thankful to Ash for sharing. It stuck out to BOTH of us how obediant that woman was to first praise God then go to her son. Can you imagine your precious son dying, and when he comes back to life the first thing you do is not to throw your arms around him and kiss him but instead to FIRST thank and praise God! Wow talk about Obediance!

NO fastforward about 5 days (If anyone is keeping track...rent is due in 7 days haha) David walks in the door with the mail in his hand and tears in his eyes. He hands me a letter which I read " Megan and David, your faithfulness has inspired us to obey God and act in faith in return. Please accept this "non-refundable" check led by God to bless you. Love your pastor, elders and malibu church family" David then hands me a check for $1,000 (yes that is THREE zeros)!!!!!!!!!

We both just started to cry then instantly I heard the 1Kings story in my head FIRST praise God, then do what you need to do. Right then and there, it was such a strong feeling of needing to bow down before our LORD and praise and thank him. I was in such shock I didn't even have words to say other than "THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS GOD. HELP US TO BE GOOD STEUARTS OF THIS MONEY. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU"

Our church is NOT a wealthy church, it has 30 people on a good day. Our church knew that David had asked for prayer over finances but they did NOT know it was so urgent that we didn't have rent. God is so faithful, HE gave us such a peace, HE softened our hearts, HE put it on the pastors heart, HE just wants us to obey and have faith that he will provide. I knew he would provide somehow, I just never in my wildest dreams imagined it would be dropped in our mailbox! We had enough for rent and groceries! Wow so amazing! Thank you Lord. Ashley thank you for sharing that story, I thought all along the purpose of it was to give me a peace about having a child one day...when really the story was to remind me to give God the praise and the Glory FIRST. To be obediant in HIM! It's amazing and crazy to look back at how many little areas God had his hand in to prepare us for this check to come. Starting with the smaller check, Natalie's post saying not to rob God, softening David's heart, placing a story on Ashely's mind.... God is SO faithful, even when we don't see it. He is working towards us. We have to be careful not to complain like the Isrealites and miss out on our blessings he has in store for us. Truth is, even if that $1000 check hadn't come in the mail, I know God would have provided some other way, through odd jobs or someway. God is just so faithful like that!

For those of you who have made it this far (sorry for the LONG post), I pray you are amazed by God's faith like we are! I pray you are encouraged to give up your worries to the Lord and know that he is ALWAYS faithful! I pray that we will all remember the beautful story from 1Kings reminding us to FIRST be obediant to God and give him the praise! Like I said at beginning, I really hope this post doesn't come across as bragging "We obeyed and we had faith" because that is not the case. The truth is, God had faith, God gave us peace, God reminded us to obey. He is just that amazing and that worthy to be praised.

2 Timothy 2:13
"If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is."

If We Are The Body

I grew up really involved in church. I was part of a youth group of a couple hundred kids. I of course had a my closest friends that I hung out with, but there were a lot of other kids that I came in contact with on a regular basis. One of those kids was Robert. Robert was socially very hard to interact with. He was a crack baby, so was born with some complications and was adopted into a family at our church that have probably been there at least 20 years. Robert is a couple years younger than me so we grew up together and he always took a liking to me, (He likes everyone). He is the kind of kid that you mostly try to avoid. Saying that aloud sounds terrible but since he doesnt know any better he corners you to chat and basically wont let you go until you have to take charge and end the conversation. But bless his heart, he has such a precious spirit. Everyone knows Robert.

Since I have graduated, I see him sometimes at church and he can always find me like a needle in a hay stack. Somehow, wherever I am Robert finds me and wants to talk. He even found me at a Taylor Swift concert once! I cant even find someone I am on the phone with at a concert! And somehow years ago he got my phone number so I get random calls from him. I have been invited to his wrestling banquets, pool parties, candle parties his aunt is having (haha) and all sorts of stuff. I mostly dont answer my phone when he calls bc I dont want to hurt his feelings to tell him no. He is so precious he calls at all.

The other day Robert texted me to see if I wanted to go to the beach next saturday. I just felt like the Lord was telling me to take a little time to show him a little love and attention. After all, I am trying to reflect the Lord, so this is a good first step for me since I suck at it so bad. Normally I would ignore the text or just tell him "Thanks Robert but sorry I cant. Talk to you soon!." But I really felt God leading me to take some time to text him and extend Gods love. (I sound like such a horrible person, thats cause I kinda am) Our conversation went like this:

Robert: Hi how are you doing and would you like to hang out next sat, going to the beach

Me: Hi Robert, Im good thank you! I am sorry but I am going to be out of town but I hope you have fun!

Robert: Ok and what have you been doing and how is everything

Me: I have a boutique downtown. We are about to open a new location in the gaslamp. It is great! Thank you for asking :)

Robert: wow, so awesome and great to hear that and let me know if you ever need help I can bring sound (Robert helps with the sound board at church, he loves it and it makes him feel involved)

Me: Ok great thank you Robert! Ill keep that in mind. I hope you have a great day!

Robert: If you need any audio let me know that is what I am doing.

Me: Ok great! Good for you Robert, I am so proud of you!

Robert: You too and I hope we can get together sometime.

Me: Ya, maybe Ill see you at church sometime

Robert: Yep it will be fun, and thank you, you rock

Me: You too Robert!

Robert: Thank you and you have made my day.

Me: I am so glad! You are a blessing Robert!

Robert: I wish more people would treat me you like you do.

Me: That is sweet Robert :) I gotta go get ready for work, but I hope you have a great day! God bless you!

"I wish more people would treat me like you do"....Ok conviction!!! That was a small, easy conversation that totally convicted me. If it wasnt for the Holy Spirit pressing into me to extend some love I would have moved on with my day without any of that interaction. As you saw that made Roberts day, and he even told me people dont treat him nicely. I am so guilty of this too. Its not his fault he was a crack baby or has any of the problems he lives with. It was ONLY because of God's grace and pressing upon my heart that I took time to chat with him and it blessed me more than him. To hear him say that was just what the Lord needed to teach me. I dont get to chose who I love, and just get to love those who are easy to love. Every single person is a reflection of the Lord. EVERYONE. So as a Christian I am expected to to extend and reflect Christ's love. Its not an option or a suggestion. Its a calling. But it is a choice. We can choose to serve God with our lives or not serve him. I want to choose Christ. Even if it does put me out of my comfort zone. I am trying to get to that point where I am actually ok with the challenges I pray for. Its like I pray for the Lord to give me opportunity then I back down. I wanna mean it when I say "Here I am Lord" and not pick and choose when I want to respond. I am learning being sold out isnt easy, but it was never supposed to be. It wasnt easy for Christ either.

I thought about this interaction all day. And as I was laying in bed, the Lord put this song in my heart. Its called "If We Are The Body" by Casting Crowns. Its exactly what I needed to be reminded of. The song talks about if we are the Body of Christ than why arent we showing His love with all that we are, to everyone?? I think it is what we all should be reminded of. I encourage you all to listen to the words of this song and let the Lord remind you of who He called you to be as Christians.

I love you girls. I dont tell you this at all to boast in myself, but to boast in the Lord for graciously allowing me to have the ears and heart to actually hear the things He is asking of me. I am so in need of these tests and challenges to refine my sinful heart. I have NO good thing besides the Lord.

I challenge you girls to step out this week and love the ones that are not easy to love.

xoxo- N

1 Corinthians 12:12-27

¹²The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. ¹³For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

¹⁴Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. ¹⁵If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁶And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. ¹⁷If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. ¹⁹If they were all one part, where would the body be? ²⁰As it is, there are many parts, but one body.